Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
