I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
