She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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