the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
