This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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