if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
