I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
