We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
