He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
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passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
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I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
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