Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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