You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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