Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Enjoy the penises
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
