this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
