I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
