New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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