I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
