"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
