I just saw a hot homeless man
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize