Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I accidentally had phone sex last night
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
