I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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