dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I'm too high and old for this...
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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