Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
The power of my boobs compel you
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize