I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Randomize
