I'm drive I can fine osifer
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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