I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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