So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
