At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
