he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
