apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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