I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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