somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Dignity is for republicans.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
My dick has a subreddit
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Randomize
