I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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