Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
the raccoons are back...
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