I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
