Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
