it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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