Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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