If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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