I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
You've changed since you got that strap on
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
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