i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Randomize
