It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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