hell yes lets make some ravioli
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
