found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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