well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
