That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
