i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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