At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
