Swine flu. Run for my life!
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
false alarm. still invincible.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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