After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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