You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
