Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
