My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Randomize
