i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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