Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
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