how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Someone came in the potted fern
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
