im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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