Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Randomize
