so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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