i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What a dumb baby whore.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize